Have you ever sat still and just looked at your life and perhaps wondered just how you ended up here? Maybe here is not a bad place. Perhaps your life is greater than the one you have always dreamed of. Maybe, it’s not.
Let me set the scene for you. I am sitting here in a three hundred year old farmhouse (that needs 300 years of work mind you!) in the middle of numerous soggy acres (currently wheat and corn fields) as it has been raining and gray (really gray) for days – with my Yorkie (Chloe) in my lap. We have our favorite blanket because the house feels chilly. Together we are typing my blog for Redwood Perspective although her current snoring indicates her content contribution is doubtful. Both my husband and I work remotely and he happens not to be traveling this week so he is in our home office.
There are several components of this day that are far from what I expected my life to be, while others are right on target. Not a bad life.
I suppose I imagined a slightly more glamorous version of my life. One that had a few more perfects and a few less slightly imperfects. For starters, the availability of high speed internet would be grand! You see when it rains or happens to be cloudy (remember that I said it is gray) our computers tirelessly search for a signal as we look on as if by doing so it will magically connect. I would love to have sidewalks that led to friends on the opposite ends. Oh yes, and a really nice restaurant close by would be nice. One that is closer than a thirty minute drive and a twenty minute ferry ride – especially tonight, because… well, just because.
Now, I understand that what I might consider slightly imperfect may be another’s dream come true. Country living at its finest. No neighbors. No internet. Critters and such. For me, I have a 75mph mind in a 25mph town and it makes me a little bit crazy at times.
Aside from the obvious perspective factor and the fact that we do have the ability to change it, what if you still have a dream in your heart and you’re still not living it?
Celebrate that, as long as you are still breathing, your dreams are still within reach. I should share that not so very long ago, I was much further away from my dream life than I am now. I was working at a dead end job with corporate executives that did not value me as a person. Truth – they really didn’t care. I worked no less than sixty hours a week and was stressed every time my work phone rang because it was always someone wanting something. Writing was one of those things I always wanted to do but had written off as a profession and accepted that it would never be more than a creative outlet. I would not have had time nor the energy to enjoy the perfect husband if I had him. Oh, and my Chloe! How unhappy she would have been being a doggy day care diva!
God knew better than I did what I needed for a while. He made it so that I HAD to slow down. To breathe in some country air. God hit the reset button. He did not say no to my dreams and desires because they are still on fire in my soul. He just said “not right now.” I believe that just in the past few days that He has shown me that I must bloom where he plants me because He plants people in places and situations for His reasons and purposes. The longer I drag and stomp my feet, kick and scream to embrace this country living chapter of my life, the longer I will be here. Not for punishment but for purpose. His purpose. The truth is many of the things that I have prayed for have come to be right here – health, new friends, new acquaintances, new church experiences, new visions for the future, and the ability to accept progress over perfection. Progress over perfection being a key lesson that I desperately needed to learn.
Just today, I learned that God’s purpose may not be for my benefit at all. As I begin to bloom and grow into the more mature version of myself that he needs me to be, I become a person that He can use and maybe He needs to use me right here, right now. Have you ever thought that God might need someone just like you, with your experiences to do a job for Him? Can you think of anything better than being hired by God?
So, no, life is not exactly what I pictured for myself. I still have unmet dreams and desires, but maybe the detour along the way was a part of God’s plan to ready me for more – to make me a match for the dreams and desires of my heart.
Keep dreaming. Do not give up on your dreams. Pray that God will make you ready to receive them. Looking back I can see growth in my life at every turn. Growth that was necessary for each part of my dream.
Until Next Time,