A couple of weeks back our pastor was talking about “ugly cries.” The type of cries where you just have purge your soul. I remember thinking that I have not cried in so long that I honestly cannot recall when it was and “am I really ugly when I cry?” Ummm… that would be “yes!”
Fast forward. This girl is tired. Oh so tired. I may blog and write and encourage but sometimes those that pour out need filled. I have always been the strong one. From early in my youth trying to maintain peace and order in my family, me being strong has kind of been a thing. My thing.
Sometimes we all need a good cry and a strong shoulder or a good Facebook friend!
Yesterday was my day.
I see little “trinket” signs (My best friend makes fun of me for using that word. She says “Trinkets! Really, Grandma?”) that say “too blessed to be stressed.” Well, let me just tell you, I am indeed blessed but stress can still creep in. It just happens! I am not sure of the “order of operations” – whether we get tired and then we get stressed or we get stressed and it makes us tired. Either way, the two combined will get you that “ugly cry.”
When we carry our stresses and burdens around in silence, we begin to feel alone. Satan loves that by the way. In my case, when things are bothering me, I get distant and quiet. Perhaps, because I have always had to figure things out on my own – or so I thought. I was never able to turn to my parents for guidance or support of any kind. I am kind of glad because it turned me into a problem-solver and a get-things-done kind of girl.
Apparently, God knows that about me. I was not reaching out so God stepped in, reached in, and pulled me out of myself. Sitting at home, minding my own business, my phone beeped. It was a long time friend of my husband’s who has embraced me as a friend also. She was just thinking about me. I was on her mind. Hmmm.
Before I knew it, we were having a conversation about all sorts of things to include the TV show “The Big Bang Theory.” We talked about writing and how qualified I feel that she is. I, on the other hand, am more qualified with “heart” than credentials. I was expressing that in my husband’s circle, I am the equivalent of the actress who plays Penny. She said, “But Penny is beautiful AND Intelligent.” I will take that, even though my husband thinks Bernadette is cuter! She seemed to have just the right words at just the right time. By the end of the conversation, she said “Well, now I know why you were on my mind.” By the end of our conversation, I felt better. I felt lighter and had a break from all the crap cluttering my head.
Isn’t God amazing? Aren’t God’s people amazing?
With God, there really are no coincidences. I have been reading a book by Joyce Meyer entitled “How To Hear From God.” You guessed it. It is about the ways that we can hear from God. I won’t go into all the details here but highly recommend the book if you have not read it. One way in particular that the author mentions we can hear from God is through other people.
I was feeling overwhelmed, stressed, under-qualified, and alone (all by my own doing of course) and God sent a messenger. I am sure my “messenger” won’t mind me sharing the last little piece of wisdom that she shared with me.
“Here is the thing – God cares about each and every one of us. I have never felt alone. He has always been there for me, and he has blessed me with many wonderful people in my life. Every person you meet brings something you need, and you bring them something they need. All we have to do is open our hearts and listen. That has always felt like the truth to me.”
Aside from feeling like God cared enough about me to reach down from Heaven and speak to me through someone who was willing to be used by him, I felt like he was telling me to stop closing my heart for fear of being hurt or just not being enough. If we do not open our hearts we cannot give and we cannot receive. Isn’t that our purpose? Not to mention, God cannot give me the answers to the problems that I face if my heart is locked up like Fort Knox.
Lastly, God prompts us. It is up to us to act. Personally, I need to get better at that. I tend to overthink and rationalize whether it is really God telling me to do this or that. Sure, if I do not obey and follow His promptings, He can undoubtedly find someone else to do the job. However, I miss my part of the blessing or maybe the message that I need to receive gets delayed.
One of my take aways – we need to learn to rule our minds or they will in fact rule us. I am going to work on getting better at opening myself up to hearing God instead of myself.
I want to be a giver and receiver of Christ through my actions.
Until Next Time,
* Thanks to my Facebook friend for following the prompting to reach out. You know who you are!