I was raised in church sporadically. My early church experiences instilled a feeling of inadequacy in me. I realize that none of us are adequate and it is purely by God’s grace that we are saved. However, my early experiences did not teach me that. Instead, they taught me that I could never be good enough. I had a very defeated attitude and felt well why try? I could never hit the mark. I was always messing up. Always feeling like I had to go back to God and beg for another chance. There were so many rules! So many, I could not possibly know them all. I was probably breaking rules that I did not even know existed. Furthermore, I saw other church people visibly breaking the rules yet holding positions of authority. Rather than my experiences drawing me near to God, I felt myself running the opposite direction. Who wants to feel condemned every single day? In the process, I made a lot of mistakes and bad decisions.
In addition to wanting the best, there are certain things we do not compromise on. We do not let the car run out of gas. We normally fill it up before it gets below a quarter of a tank. Certain things make for more positive experiences. It would not be enjoyable to be sitting on the roadside waiting for AAA because we failed to prepare for our drive by fueling our car, no matter how much I love my husband’s company.
A few weeks ago while in Denver, I was overjoyed to find that a few of the stores that I have been missing in the Northwest were located within 15 minutes of where I was staying. Quickly it became a mission! Shopping. Woman on a mission- need I say more? Oh yes, my husband was hunting. A girl has to do what a girl has to do!
The one store that I really wanted to go to- the Christian bookstore made it to the bottom of my list my first shopping trip- I was distracted by the pet store (every single time.) Those of you that know Chloe know that she is my BFFF (best furry friend forever.) I am obsessed with loving this little 3 ½ pound yorkie princess. No surprise that I came out with a bag of goodies for her first birthday. Headed to the bookstore…oh no, there right in front of me was the cosmetics store! Sensory overload. The car just drove there.