When I die, forget the flowers! Bring Milk Bones (or treats for the more sophisticated palate) so that I will have plenty for all the dogs in Heaven. I plan on having lots of furkids up there! Cynthiaism #1
For those of you that have read my book, you know that my bestie claims to keep a book which she calls “THE BOOK” of all my craziness. I stress claims because I have not actually seen it. Yes, you can bet the above quote will be in it –if it truly exists!
I say things and I do things –uniquely Cynthia things. I laugh at myself a lot and I make others laugh – most often without even trying. I am thinking I just might have a future in stand up. Since I will be getting a late start in life, it might be sit down for me!
The thing is most of my shenanigans really happen! I do not have to make stuff up. I just have to share my everyday. Like the story last week where I thought I must still be peeing because I kept hearing water run! Yep, just like that. My husband says there is never a dull moment with me. Ahhh, life with Cynthia!
Most of you know that I am a little obsessed with my furkids -thus the Cynthiaism #1! If you have ever been hurt by people, you no doubt understand how the unconditional love of an animal (dogs in my case) can heal your heart! So, obsessed? You can decide. Chloe has a stroller and yes I proudly push her in it! She has more clothes than my best friend. Oh, and a purse with PetSmart money! Mojo has premium “real estate” in our bed! He also has a dog tag that says, “Please call my peeps” with Mommy and Daddy’s phone numbers listed and a signature line that says, “Thanks, Mojo.” When I board them, I take a “diaper bag” with every possible thing they could need and call to check on them – yes, even from the Dominican Republic! If only I could get the dog spa people to do video chats! I may have to work on that one. Every morning they get scrambled eggs. I smile as I type this because being a puppy Mommy makes me really happy! I love being their upright.
Normally I am able to keep my little quirks to myself but occasionally a few wear off on my dear sweet husband. If you know him, do not tell him about this blog!
You see, Chloe is so tiny that we sometimes use her as puppet if you will. We hold up her paw and pretend she is talking with attitude! “Talk to the paw, Mommy!” If she really has an attitude, it is “Talk to the back paw!”
We had a couple visit our very rural, remote farmhouse several months back and we decided to show them Chloe’s little routine which I guess is our little routine. The lady said, “This farm living is getting to ya’ll. Ya’ll need PEOPLE! You really, really need people.”
I personally think most people (with the exception of Michael Vick kind of people) need pets and the lessons that we can learn from them – the greatest being unconditional love! If we all loved like my furkids love me, the world would be a better place. They are always excited to see me (Mojo so much that he pees all over the place when he does) that their little tails could seemingly break off from hyperwagging. When I wake up in the morning, I am covered with doggie kisses! What a way to start my everyday. Mojo could have easily been named Shadow as he is my constant. He could put makeup on any of you ladies. He even knows (by observation) how to use a flat iron! The funny thing is that although both of my puppy babies (buppies for short) are normally quiet, when they are gone to the spa my house seems eerily quiet. They are a peaceful, calming presence in a sometimes loud and stressful world. *Note- Although, Chloe and Mojo love unconditionally, a good dog bone can sway them in the court of puppy opinion as to who their favorite parent is at the time.
So, yes when I check out, cover my casket in dog bones! As mentioned above, a good dog bone can help you win fur friends and influence canine behavior! (Just for clarification, I am not planning on checking out anytime soon but one never knows. I just wanted to go on record about the dog bones!)
Stay tuned for more Cynthiaism’s!
Until Next Time (Paws Up! Chloe Bear Bain’s way of saying “High Five” Or “Peace Out”)