Have you ever just felt empty? Completely drained of energy, hope, or enthusiasm? Perhaps you feel like you are walking through your days flat lined? Despite your best intentions, you find yourself just getting by rather than reaching for your full potential every day.
You cannot see me but I am raising my hand. Pick me!
Don’t get me wrong. I am fully functioning. Still hitting the gym. Still productive. I am more focused than I have been at other times in my life. However, inside I feel like my brain is going like the stock market ticker tape trying to figure things out. We all have things – especially things we cannot control! Focused and distracted. How is that even possible?
Silently overwhelmed into feeling like if we were children, hiding in our closets might be a viable option. Okay, I am an adult and hiding in my closet does not sound so bad (with a glass of wine of course!)
Even in a quiet room, peace seems to be lacking.
I just did a 60-hour water fast with friends. No, I have not lost my mind. Honestly, I went into it thinking, “ I will go for 24 hours.” As the time passed, I began to feel better and stronger. I realized, “I’ve got this!” As 60 hours came to an end, I felt like I could keep going. I opted not to because it was a 60-hour fast and I had met the challenge. I had exercised the personal discipline to slay my goal. Our group is doing another fast in July and I just might set a goal to go longer.
I did the fast for my own reasons. Let’s just say a reset.
Now that the fast is over, I am forced to confront how many times I have felt compelled to fast from something but rationalized my way out of it. So often, I would tell myself that God really did not want me to do a fast. It was just something crazy that I had concocted in my own mind or that I did not truly feel called to fast but rather would just be following the crowd. At other times in my life, I would have scoffed at the thought of going without food for 60 hours. No way!
The thing is I did not do this fast for God. I am ashamed to say there are times I should have done a fast to clear the “noise” so that I could meet up with God but I didn’t. I did this fast for ME. For my own selfish reasons, not really knowing what to expect. It was a challenge. Yep, I did something for ME that I would not do for God.
Well, God can and will use anything to achieve His purposes.
It seems that more than anything, my fast provided me with a clear mind. Peace that I have been seeking but could not seem to find. For me that is HUGE! Suddenly, I became undeniably aware of how distracted from God I have been. I realized that the more distracted from God that I have become, the more complicated and stressful my life has become. I have been trying to figure “things” out all by myself. I have been trying to control outcomes. Ha!
God used what I was willing to give (to me) and showed me how much more that He could do with it if I would just give it to him.
He showed me that beyond the distractions of life, He waits patiently. Beyond the “things” lie simplicity and peace. Peace. Blissful peace. His perfect peace.
He showed me that if I will just strive to meet Him that all the “things” will fall into place.
I am breathing easier. I am looking forward to my next fast and thinking I will indeed hide in the closet. I think Jesus just might be in there! Maybe He is who the children are talking to when they are in there!
Until Next Time,