Me, Myself, and I.
It has taken 27 years (Ok, I will be 28 in two days!!!) for me to get past self-loathing to self-love. Now, it is a little different. Me, myself, and I have a really good time together. I might look a little unbalanced while laughing alone but quite simply, I crack me up.
(*Side Note – My age might be slightly misrepresented but not with ill intent. Just ask my sister/BFF. Every year before my birthday, I Google “age calculator” and enter my stuff to see how old I am! )
With my husband working from home most of the time mixed with some intermittent business travel, I get the benefit of both worlds. (In other words, I still get alone time. NOT SINGLE TIME!!! I wear my ring on my finger and heart proudly.)
Being single was good for me. I learned to be my own best friend. I also learned that I have the very best conversations with myself because most of the time I do not argue back. Occasionally, I do have to call myself out for being a dumbass. You know. “What were you thinking Cynthia?”
I have also had to call myself out for allowing people to run over me time or two- boundaries are hard for me. When that happens, I just prepare my response for next time! We all think of things we wished we had said! As part of my personal development program, I am cheering myself on to get up the nerve to say them! Yea… insert fist pump here. ( I have a few saved up. Rehearsed even!)
I do not have to worry about what I think about me because I know. If I offend me, I cannot stay pissed too long. I have to live with me.
I am used to my quirks. I have been working on them for 27 years now! I can stay in a bookstore for hours and think I am cool! I may even dress like Amy Farrah Fowler when I go – JUST FOR FUN! But, I just might carry VapoRub in my purse for when my dear sweet hubby returns. You never know when you might get lucky! (You might need to be a Big Bang fan to understand this one!)
I can go from dropping my husband off at the airport to pick-up time without shaving and do the happy dance about it. Shower time is greatly reduced. More time for Lifetime movies and wine. It is not drinking by yourself when you have furkids – in case you were going to go there!
I can pee without turning on the water faucet in the bathroom. What? Ladies is this not a thing with you? From the very first time that my husband and I shared a hotel (HOTEL, MOTEL, HOLIDAY INN – closet Pit Bull lover right here!) room and the bed was within arms reach of the bathroom only separated by a door, I have turned the water on so he cannot hear me pee! He cannot really think I do that. I am a princess after all (at least in my own mind!) I only go in there to adjust my tiara.
Meals. Okay, those used to be easier before I adopted a keto lifestyle. Did you know that Taco Bell gives Frequent Flyer miles? They used to know me by name. Now, I save my carbs for wine. Who is gonna judge me? Chloe? Mojo? Doubtful. I have wine. They get bones. We have reached an accord. We are working on the “cheers” thing! And, Jesus turned water into wine. Just saying! Any carbs remaining for the day can be for food. Nuff said.
Dishes can pile in the sink for as long as I want. Okay, yesterday I got a headache and thought I might die so I got up and washed them. Yes, with a headache. I could not have the paramedics or the coroner thinking I was a slob. I want my episode of CSI to be glamorous!
I unsubscribe to ESPN and the hunting channel sometimes for only four days at a time. Dish Network knows me. Just kidding? You will never know!
I can Hula Hoop while watching Family Feud and Big Bang wearing whatever I want! Imagine a female version of Tom Cruise aka Joel Goodsen “Risky Business” in his underwear dancing in “Risky Business!” I am that kind of legend (in my own mind.) I do not run a “house of ill repute” but do possess quite an entrepreneuriail spirit!
I can spend three hours in Wal-Mart or shopping somewhere, anywhere without my husband threatening to have a seizure.
I would comment on allowing my laundry to pile up or the make-up covering half of my bedroom but those are my constants. Do not tell CSI should I check out (blame the disorder on Fairfield) I really can be a slob!
After a while, Chloe and Mojo and even Henry and Phoebe (our pet chickens that knock on the door with their beaks for bread) get bored with me. One can only entertain so long! Yes, I get bored with me and need the hubs to return. Where do you think I get my material?
I can clean a whole house in fifteen minutes before leaving for the airport to pick him up and throw a few water drops on my face before he gets off the plane to convince him that I have been cleaning the WHOLE time! Taking care of the farm is tough work. Dinner out? Wine. Fabulous!
I thought you would never ask.
Did I remember to call Dish?
Life is fun.
Until Next Time,