Here it is Election Day 2016. We can only say that once in our lifetime! Thinking back about all of the elections that I have been alive for makes me feel oh… so… old. Granted, I was not old enough to vote in all of them. That is a definite plus. Don’t worry. This is not a political post so you can keep reading. It would please me if you do! It takes an unexpected turn.
I can say that I have never felt so strongly about an election before. My mother has been gone for quite some time now, but I know what her words would be if she were here today. The older we get it seems the smarter our parents get – even the crazy ones like mine! It is somehow comforting being able to hear the words of those before us ring loudly in our hearts and minds. If not comforting, comical at least! I am so very glad that my mother did not have Facebook! Oh Lord, the thought. Truly, I praise You for that!
If my mom had Facebook…
**An important thing to know is that in life, my mother knew no strangers and had no filter unless the butt of a cigarette counts?
- No one would call me by my name – I would be Sissy or Vette.
- OMG… selfies! I imagine she would have curlers in her hair that had been heavily prepped with Dippity-Do only later to be sprayed with the likes of Aqua-Net! Probably smoking a Winston and drinking a Pepsi. Make-up optional. I would have been horrified! Oh Lord, I AM horrified!
- Please Mom, no Facebook Live! Especially no singing. She might have attempted to entertain you with Charlie Rich, Charlie Pride, Kitty Wells, Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty, and whoever sang that song, “Just a Swingin?” The Statler Brothers, The Oak Ridge Boys… oh, lest we not forget Anne Murray! It was embarrassing just giving a friend a ride home from school. Can you imagine Facebook?!!!
- She would not have grasped PRIVATE, instant messaging. Nope. She would have sent me public messages containing her grocery list of things that she would like me to bring home when I got off of work. OHHH… EMMM… GEEEEE! Imagine Granny Clampett! Perhaps no road kill, no tonic. However, nothing else would be off limits! Yes, even those GIRL things!
- She would have figured out how to map out neighborhood yard sales and tag me in them!
- She would have had more friends than I did! Remember, no strangers?
- She would have joined a group for adults that like to ride tricycles (the non-motorized kind!)
- She would have peddled Avon to help her neighbor across the street and you would have bought it!
- She would have posted my baby pictures with full narratives attached. Not just baby pictures come to think of it. Nope. Remember, the woman had no filter!
- She would have played matchmaker OUT LOUD… AND ONLINE.
- She would tell people if they were ugly – inside or out! No apologies, except offering advice on how to fix it!
- She would call you out faster than her personalities changed.
- There would be lots of Southern slang and sayings. Some that come to mind are: hotter than a two bit whore on nickel day, too big for your britches, don’t sweat the small stuff, colder than a well diggers toenails, and countless – well bless your hearts!
- She would have posted lots of pictures of Jesus.
- She would have been an overnight Internet sensation. Everyone loved her. Yet, she was a stay-at-home mom, stay-at-home wife. Truly, she made more of an impact right where she was than many who strive to secure platforms from which to speak.
- She would have told Hillary Clinton to ditch the “God-forsaken” pantsuits.
- She would have told Hillary Clinton to “act like a lady.”
- She would have told Hillary that “if she did not quit lying her nose would grow.”
- She would have sworn that Hillary Clinton is/was, in fact, the anti-Christ.
- She would have tried to find me dresses like Melania’s at yard sales.
- She would be oh so proud of the man that I married and announce it to all of her friends.
- She would know if I was silent that something was wrong and ask people to pray for me despite my protests that I was/am “fine.” Therefore, I would be receiving messages from people that I did not even know and I would be saying MOM!!!
- And… tonight she would be saying, do not worry Sissy. It does not matter who wins this election. God is in control.
And with that, as I read this to my sister and caused her to cry (haha), we both realized that we have become our mother.
God is in control.
Until Next Time,