I have always struggled with my weight. Always! In my younger years, I suffered from both bulimia and anorexia. I had a very skewed self-image. I had not learned to filter out the negative things that people (my father) used to say to me. He called me when I was a stay–at–home mom and informed me that I was wasting my life, probably staying home, eating cookies and getting fat. It wasn’t true but I decided I would show him anyway. I starved myself. I would walk for hours and only eat a bowl of cereal. I ended up taking my first and only ambulance ride because of that. I carried ipecac syrup in my purse. When I finally reached 112, I was proud to send him a picture of myself. When he received it, he called to ask if my then husband could not afford to feed me. He also said that my chest looked like two friend eggs that had been popped. Yes, my father spoke to me that way. He also used to tell me that he wished I was as beautiful as my sister. She had blonde hair and blue eyes and looked just like Morgan Fairchild to him.
Weight has always been a way that I measured my self-worth. I have been anywhere from 112 pounds to 160 pounds. I am 5’3”. When I was lighter, I felt on top of the world. When I was heavier, I felt invisible.
At some point, I stopped trying to please my father or anyone else. I started trying to be happy being me while at the same time discovering who “me” really was.
There have still been times in my life where my weight has fluctuated. I have gained quite a bit since marrying the love of my life. Guess what! He loves me anyways!
I love a lot about me but I do not love my current weight or fitness level. I have settled for less than the best version of me.
Here are some important facts that I have learned.
- No one can eat healthy for you.
- No one can exercise for you.
- No one can commit to excellence for you. They can want it for you but you have to want it for yourself.
- No one can make you not eat or drink the things that you desire.
- Sneaking food only hurts you. Not the ones, you are hiding it from!
- Discipline and self-control come from wanting the end result more than whatever it might be that is tempting you in the moment.
- If you say that you can’t or it’s too hard then it probably is for you. You do not want the end result more.
If you do not like the way you look, the way that your clothes fit, your level of strength or fitness, or the way that you feel (health wise) – you have to make a choice that no one can make for you.
For me, I have made that choice. There was a day that I just said “NO MORE” and I meant it.
I used to envy those that looked like I used to before I let myself go. I recently heard a quote by Dr. Phil McGraw that said “ The only difference between you and those that you envy is that you settled for less.” Smack me with truth!
No more settling for less.
Whenever I commit to a goal, I imagine myself walking inside of my brain and turning off the “master switch” related to the endeavor that tells me anything otherwise.
I take charge.
I take action. (No one can do that for you either.)
Before I could take action, I needed to assess. What got me here? What changes must I make to change my current course? Where do I want to be?
In my case, I had to become conscious of the fact that I was making poor life choices. I was eating whatever I wanted, as much as I wanted and I was scared to death of the gym.
I was headed straight to diabetes which runs in my family. I was also having digestive issues and joint pain and stiffness.
I did some research and found the best new life plan for my intake. Diet is a bad word. Diet indicates that when you reach your goal that you go back to your past behavior.
There are tons of programs out there but I believe I have found the very best one – at least for me. I have an incredible support team. They have become my family. I cheer for them and they cheer for me. I have a celebrity trainer that personally responds to me when I have a question about fitness or nutrition. He is actually featured in this month’s edition of Men’s Health. How cool is that?
I hired a personal trainer to help me overcome my fear of the gym and realized just how out of shape that I am. That is okay! I WON’T BE FOR LONG! This time I am settling for more!
I addressed every item on my list that was holding me back. Now I have nowhere to go but forward.
I burned those bad habits.
I let them go.
I am so excited to be on this journey with such great people. I hope that as people see me, they become encouraged and inspired to make changes in whatever areas that are holding them back.
If I can help you in anyway, message me. I want to love and support you the same way that I have been.
Until Next Time,