Today someone asked me if putting myself out “there” makes me feel vulnerable.
The answer is a big, resounding “NO!”
Writing is what I love to do. People will judge me if I write or if I don’t. As a matter of fact, people will judge me (or you) for just about anything! There is a critic in everyone.
Worrying about what other people thought about me robbed me of my joy for most of my life. I stopped trying to please other people quite some time ago. It was exhausting! Making or attempting to make other people happy was not making me happy at all. As a matter of fact, the more I have tried to please others the less authentic I became until the real me was buried so deep that I needed a shovel to find her.
You cannot subdue your soul or your spirit enough that everyone will like you. The only winning proposition is to set it free to be who you were meant to be so that the one person who truly matters will give you a 100% approval rating. You. Love you unapologetically.
Following my own advice, I am the happiest I have ever been.
The only time that you should be uncomfortable in your own skin is when the growth occurring inside of you is stretching you beyond your comfort zone and making room for all of your hopes and dreams to come true. That should be an excited uncomfortable.
You should not feel uncomfortable in your own skin or feel caged by the people in your life. Be around people who encourage you to follow your passions. Be around people that encourage you to take that leap of faith.
Most importantly, be the kind of person who is not scared to jump. If you are scared, just do it anyway. (See my past blog about my jump off of a perfectly good boat into the ocean.)
What is the worst thing that can happen? The very worst is that you reach the end of your life having never done that thing.
It is heartbreaking to hear people say to me, “I have always wanted to_______ but I am afraid of what people will say or what they will think about me.” People will think what they want to think regardless of what you do – even if they do not even know you! Criticism will not kill you. It will make you stronger. If you are doing that thing (whatever that thing is for you) that wakes you up in the middle of the night, criticism will fuel you. Embrace it with a big warm hug! That is not to say that all criticism is valid. What I am saying is that if you were on someone’s radar long enough for them to construct a criticism of you, you are sticking out amongst the crowd. That is something to celebrate, to embrace, and move on.
What about, “People might disapprove of me or talk about me?” The truth is someone already does. Good or bad. Someone already does. Most people however, are too busy with their own lives to spend time worrying about yours.
Do that thing that sets your soul on fire! Write the book. Grab the guy by the shirt collar and pull him close to you and give him the best kiss of his entire life. If they have the little kids shoes that have the blinking lights in the sole in your size and you want to wear them, do! It doesn’t matter how old you are. Walk into work saying, “Hold the applause!” (Yes my introverted self has done this.) Smile. Have fun. Feel your heart beat. Maybe you will inspire someone else to do the same.
If people are going to talk about you, give them some material.
In a world so full of people, the best thing that we can be is our authentic selves not who we think someone else wants us to be. No one is better at being me than me and no one is better at being you than you – so be that full out!
Until Next Time,