We all have that friend.
Every Sunday, she (or he) sends a text that expresses how quickly the weekend flew by and how she dreads Monday. I can picture her with her arms hanging down, head sagging, long face, dragging her feet, and whining via text. “Oh Dear God! I hate Mondays.” She hates her job but she absolutely loves to complain about it. (I can picture it well because I have been her.)
Wednesday rolls around and I get the “Happy Hump Day” message. Her mood is improving. Half-way through the workweek. Almost Friday!
Thirsty Thursday. Time for Happy Hour. I do not even need to see her planner.
It is now Friday. She can barely wait until 5 o’clock. The weekend belongs to her! Well, at least Friday night and Saturday because Sunday she spends whining about Monday. Sunday is essentially a pre-work day.
Week after week. This is her pattern.
The thing is – she is completely happy being completely miserable. It is what she knows. If she weren’t unhappily happy, she might not be anything. Her claim to fame is complaining.
I have suggested on numerous occasions that she make a change. She has her rebuttals ready. All the reasons – she can’t or won’t.
It isn’t just work. She is unhappy with her weight too. She knows that she needs to lose 50 pounds but no way is she going to actually change anything to do it! Give up sugar, bread, pasta – umm, no thank you! Give up anything? That is a big no. Work out. It is just too hard! Not enough time in the day. She just chooses to whine about it instead.
She even calls me to tell me that she is starting a new diet tomorrow often. Tomorrow comes and she posts a picture of a dozen donuts with the caption, “My breakfast. Mine all mine.” It would seem she meant another tomorrow?
What about the girl that puts up with the guy that just won’t commit? She is miserable with him but cannot imagine being without him so she accepts his terms and compromises her own.
Do you know anyone like this? Someone that is quite happy being unhappy? Could that someone be you? It is easy to become this person if you are surrounded by people like this!
Evaluate your words. Make sure you are breathing life and not draining it. The energy we put out is what we attract.
Evaluate the words that others speak and how they make you feel. Are they infusing you with life and positive energy or do they leave you feeling as if you want to close your office door and bang your head on your desk. If the latter, you need to limit your interactions with them as much as possible and always counter their negativity with something positive. Never allow the last word to be one that drains your soul. Imagine spraying air freshener in the bathroom after, well you know! Be the breath of fresh air in life – in your conversations and interactions.
We can encourage others but we do not have to wallow with them especially if they want to stay in the puddle!
As a person who has dedicated her life to motivating and inspiring others, there is nothing quite as frustrating to me as envisioning how awesome a life can be right on the other side of change and seeing a person being unwilling or unmotivated to make it. Sadly, we cannot make changes or decisions for other people. They will do so when they have had enough and not a moment before.
Choose your company wisely. Be your own best friend. The only person that we have any control over is the person that looks back at us in the mirror. Do you have work to do? Be honest with yourself and make sure you aren’t wallowing in your own puddle either!
Problems have solutions. Solutions require actions. Complaining is not an action!
Until Next Time,