Do you ever feel like you are missing really close connections in your life? Do you look at other people and admire the relationships that they have? I will be the first to admit that I certainly do!
I have moved at least 37 times in my 46 years, most of which was not of my own choosing. Close relationships are hard to manage much less keep, nurture and grow. Let’s add the fact that I have been working from my home office far removed from any of my co-workers for the past year. Moving to a new town and working remotely makes it difficult to integrate into a new community and certainly hard to make new friends. For me, this is not a new phenomenon considering my relocation statistics.
Moving so many times, childhood friends, school acquaintances, former neighbors, past co-workers all sadly fade into the past- even with the evolution of social media. There are not too many people that I can have conversations with that start with “do you remember that time?” That is not to say that I do not have some really fond memories.
I would be remiss if I did not say that there is a part of me that even finds it difficult to invest in new friendships and that pettiness sends me over the edge in about 30 seconds flat.
I have a deep level of value and commitment to the people in my life that have endured the test of time.
I have moments where I find myself envious of others. My husband can tell you the name of his kindergarten teacher, still has most of his school “treasures”, can still return to the house he grew up in and even after being away for years is likely going to see someone in his hometown that recognizes him. Family pictures reveal a long history of a closeness whereas all the photos that I have remaining fit inside of a shoe box with lots of leftover space. My best friend has similar circumstances to those of my husband. Funny interlude, when her family sold their longtime property- they dug up grandma and relocated her too! I would not even know where my grandmother was buried and can barely recall her as I only met her twice, maybe three times.
Herein, the danger lies. When I begin to compare my circumstances to the circumstances of others, it opens the door to ugliness- sadness, regret, jealousy, and envy rather than the deep appreciation for life that I feel at the core of who I am. I am a generally happy person however, it is not possible to be envious and happy at the same time. They cancel each other out.
God never intended for me to be on any other path than my own. My path has made me strong, independent, appreciative and most of all it has made me lean on him! I am a leader, not a follower. I am not scared of a lot of the “what if’s.” I typically do not sweat the small stuff and am able to provide a great deal of wisdom, insight and strength to others. I am unique and “fearfully and wonderfully made” Psalm 139:14. My experiences have molded me into just the person that I am supposed to be. I could not fulfill God’s purpose for my life any other way.
Whether you are comparing your house to that of your friend, or envying your neighbor’s new car, the fact that SHE does not have a single gray hair, maybe it is your co-worker’s purse, whatever it may be for you- stop it! This very thing robs you of a deep profound joy. Be thankful for every little detail and difference in your story that makes you uniquely you. Contemplate how you might be able to use your own brand of uniqueness to serve others.
“When they measure themselves with themselves and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding and behave unwisely.” 2 Corinthians 10:12
Until next time,